I stare at my funky self in the mirror. What to do? Screaming is hard work, so I decide to be Zen about it.

What’s up with the Dutch? Are my people a tribe of uncivil, ill-mannered jerks?

Fortunately the turkey was not aware of the undignified manner in which he was prepared for the table.

I’m having a bad expat day. My mind is blank, I can’t write, my Romanian language lesson is a disaster, and the taxi driver tries to kill me.

Culinary crisis in an elegant restaurant in Rome: Not even a free lobster the size of a small dog could appease this miserable couple.