I’m upset, dear reader. In the last few months I’ve come across several posts and articles about how unfriendly, rude and blunt the Dutch are. Blunt, I get. We are a down-to-earth, direct lot. But rude? Unfriendly? This judgment was offered up mostly considering behavior in social and public situations such as in shops and restaurants. People in shops are not friendly? Waiters are rude? All the time? Everywhere?
I was discombobulated, dear reader, shocked! But then I am Dutch and we never see ourselves the way foreigners do, do we? Then again, I’ve not actually lived in the Netherlands for years, so I’m practically a foreigner myself, so why had I never noticed? In all the years of coming and going while visiting, why had I never been aware the country is awash in rudeness and unfriendliness? Yes, of course, on occasion I’d meet an unpleasant Dutch specimen, like you find them in every country. But in Holland unpleasantness is the prevailing attitude?
Stuff Dutch People Like is a site I enjoy reading because it shows off the quirky things about my country, even if rather over the top at times, but then a good laugh is a good laugh. The No. 31 Keeping It Real is the particular post that generated a storm of comments, more than 100 so far, many of them complaining about the awfulness of the Dutch. I needed a sedative after reading them all.
Well, since it so happened that I was spending two weeks in Holland in July, I decided to pay attention and see what happened. We spent time in Amsterdam, in a couple of small towns up north, and in a village setting as well. We ate over half our meals in restaurants and had numerous cups of coffee and drinks in cafés, bars, and so forth. We had a rental car but also used public transportation (train, tram, bus and ferry).
Small town in the Netherlands
Needless to say, I was very nervous about this experiment. What if I discovered I had been wrong and my people were a tribe of uncivil, ill-mannered jerks? Trust me, it took a lot of coffee and a lot of wine to fortify me for this research. And guess what?
We were met with courtesy and friendliness everywhere, I kid you not.
We chatted with friendly waitresses and waiters, talked to fun shop attendants and owners. We did this either with me talking Dutch, or with me posing as an American, which I can do real good, since I actually am one (naturalized, if not born).
After paying for our consumptions, we were invariable wished “nog een fijne dag” or a variant of it, which corresponds with “have a nice day.”
My man and I would look at each other and say, sheesh, I wonder why Dutch people are so unfriendly. It was becoming a joke.
Terras in the town of Sneek
When asking a shop assistant for something in an Albert Heijn supermarket one day, the person walked me all the way over to the other side to show me where to find what I was looking for. In another store I couldn’t find what I needed and they gave me directions to a place where I could, and did it with a smile. All behavior apparently not normal according to what I had been reading. I visited two different government offices and dealt with civil servant clerks, a species much maligned in many countries. Both times the service was friendly and efficient.
I was getting really confused. Where were all these rude and unfriendly people I’d been reading about? Much as we tried, we couldn’t find anyone unhelpful or unfriendly, whether I spoke Dutch or my husband spoke English. Whether right in Amsterdam, in other towns or in the country. We moved around a lot this trip, showing our American daughters around and visiting family and old friends.
On one of our last days there I had some business in a tax office in the town of Leeuwarden in the north. We parked our rental car, a black monster of a Volvo which we had to get at the Amsterdam airport in order to fit in the luggage of four people. Normally we get a small or medium size car to match our humble personalities, but this was all they had on offer that would fit all the stuff.
I had an appointment at 9 in the morning. After some initial paperwork, all done with a friendly civil servant clerk (really), I needed to wait a bit more. My prince and I sat in the waiting area, along with several women.
A young man came striding in from the outside, glanced around and approached the two of us while holding out his phone showing a picture.
“Is this your car?” he asked in Dutch.
Indeed it was, a big black tank of a Volvo.
“The motor is running and it is unlocked,” he said. He had parked right next to it, he told us, and had noticed. He’d turned off the engine, and had gone in search of us.
My man jumped to his feet. We were both flabbergasted. How had that happened?
The Volvo had a key system we’d never seen before, where the key is a square thing you place in a slot and then you push a button above it to either start or stop the engine. We’d been in a bit of a hurry, and my man had taken the key but not pushed the button, and why it was not locked, who knows.
We thanked the guy profusely and my mate rushed out the door to lock the car.
“How did you find us?” I asked the man, and he explained it was his guess we were here in this office, and as he entered the waiting room he’d glanced around to see who might be the likely owner of the Volvo.
And this is where it gets interesting, dear reader, because he picked me. He gestured at the other women sitting on the other side of the room. All four of them wore sturdy sandals or walking shoes, practical Dutch foot wear. I’d worn the same sort of shoes for days as we’d cruised through Amsterdam. But not today. I was wearing strappy, low-heeled sandals adorned with a few playful sparkles, exposing my sexy blue toenails.
The man glanced down at my feet. “I saw your shoes, and I thought, that has to be the Volvo people.”
“It’s only a rental,” I said, somehow feeling I didn’t deserve to be profiled as a Volvo person.
We laughed, and as he turned to leave, I thanked him again for taking the time to find us.
My mate came back into the waiting and sat down next to me. “I just can’t imagine why the Dutch are so rude and unfriendly,” he said.
* * *
What is your opinion of the Dutch? Or what surprises you about what foreigners say about your people?
{ 56 comments… read them below or add one }
Love the Dutch! Of course my husband is Dutch so I’m biased
Have never come across a rude person during all my visits to the Netherlands. Maybe indifferent service sometimes but never overtly rude…
I’ve only been to the Netherlands twice (Breda and Amsterdam) but I can honestly say I’ve never encountered rudeness. Lots of helpful people, as I recall. I’ll be there next week, though (Gouda and The Hague), so I’ll let you know if that changes.
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I admit I’ve experienced rudeness in Europe on several occasions, but I can honestly say I have yet to encounter a rude Dutch person.
I’m surprised to hear that the Dutch are considered rude, but maybe I am biased, as my father is Dutch. My purely anecdotal experience with both his family in the Netherlands and the Dutch more generally are that they are a blunt, down-to-earth lot, but I would hardly call this rude.
Sorry to disappoint you again but I was there around the same as me
And I feel the same way as everyone else, but not to say that some people were really nice ie the folks at the hotel, a couple of people in two shops, but over all i feel the same way. I don’t think it’s so much armsterdam but Europeans are really rude, unfriendly and full of themselves, plus I don’t think they like ” tourists” too much, forgetting how much we help their economy.
One thing I noticed though, that no matter how busy an area, shops, malls, or parks, there is never a line in the pubic bathrooms. Why is that, of course there were some exceptions , but over all I was pleasantly surprised.
To answer your question, I think like me they can smell their own kind. I am from Haiti and people who visit there always say how nice they are and i often wonder if they are really talking about my people, so we have it in reserve. Go figure!
Love your blog always
Tourists who describe people in the countries they visit as rude often don’t understand what is considered to be polite in that country. Here in France, for example, people are being polite when they call you Madame and address you as “vous”. Big smiles and using first names would be considered inappropriate.
Likewise, tourists may attract rude/indifferent treatment by making etiquette li
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Tourists who describe people in the countries they visit as rude often don’t understand what is considered to be polite in that country. Here in France, for example, people are being polite when they call you Madame and address you as “vous”. Big smiles and using first names would be considered inappropriate. From what you say, being direct and businesslike is polite for the Dutch and perhaps indirect-style politeness is seen as hypocritical.
Likewise, tourists may attract rude/indifferent treatment by making etiquette mistakes themselves, such as the classic one in France of forgetting to say “Bonjour”. People’s responses to that kind of thing are largely instinctive and the instinct is hard to turn off.
I don’t believe whole nations can be rude, only individuals within them. People who visit countries and decide that everyone is rude should ask themselves what they themselves might be doing wrong.
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I agree with you, Canedolia: “I don’t believe whole nations can be rude, only individuals within them.”
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After living three years in the Netherlands, I have nothing but GOOD to say about the Dutch. I was always greeted kindly buy people in shops, neighbors and doctors…
If I had to complain about anything, it would be about the people on bicycles, who seem to own the roads. I never knew where they were coming from and always nervous I’d hit one.
I now live in Norway and people say they too are unfriendly. They really aren’t, they’re just a little reserved.
This is a blog I can relate to. My lens happens to be French by marriage and American South by birth & rearing. Over the years I’ve had many relations with Dutch people. I never found them to be rude. They are polite. They are very practical and helpful. The least attractive thing about of the Dutch (as I’ve known them) is a tendency to be cheap.
The dutch rude? What the…
I hear that here sometines as well lol
I think the problem most of the time is that according to NZ people Dutch people are “confrontational” In my words “direct” Some people call that rude. I am direct at times but people here learned to accept that as they know it has nothing to do with rudeness.
So you were in Holland in July…..me too
So you went to Amsterdam in that time….me too
Maybe we passed each other lol
So you didn’t find any rude people in Holland, either? I hope you had a great time, and too bad we didn’t know we were both there at the same time. We could have met somewhere and had a cup of coffee and appeltaart. Next time!
Perhaps they meant the Germans when talking about Dutch? Cause they can be rude (and Yes I’m allowed to say that being German myself). Like you, I sOmetimes pose as an American and invariably the service is more friendly. Don’t laugh, but I truly think it is the German language that’s to blame. Much harder to be rude in English. I haven’t been to Holland much so I can’t say, but I’ve come across tons of Dutch as they tend to be prolific travelers and I’ve always found them to be an outgoing and gregarious bunch, easy to joke with and friendly.
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I’ve never to Holland but I’ve met Dutch people who were extremely nice. Yes, they can be blunt and direct but that’s not rude.
I think there are rude individuals everywhere but one can’t label a whole country or culture because of them! In many cases, tourists are rude to locals and locals are rude back. Unfortunately, it’s them who get labelled as “rude”.
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Another story that transports me back to Europe. You ask:
“Where were all these rude and unfriendly people I’d been reading about?”
Are they the ones we hear about in Paris perhaps?
When I return to Europe every summer, I think the people are becoming friendlier. The lady selling me a train ticket in Iver, Buckinghamshire, actually walked out of her booth to find me on the platform; she wanted to give me a train schedule for my trips to London and Reading. I thought that was so sweet of her.
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Ok , but that was in England . Of course not all the English are friendly but they are brought up to be polite and don’t argue the toss with customers . It also has to be said that the customers are also generally politer than in the Netherlands so the silly discussions that occur in Dutch in shops and restaurants about who did what wrong etc) , are much rarer there. As are the endless discussions at the check out . With a huge line of people behind them, people here will debate for ages about whether something is on special offer and about whether the change they received was correct. And not waiting your turn is also a good old Dutch custom . People shamelessly jump the queue here and are rarely reprimanded by the personal . If you were then to say something you’d get everyone in the shop against you , especially in they heard a foreign accent.
Great story. I think people mix up blunt for rude.
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An American (Latina) friend and I (American and white) spent a day and a half in Amsterdam on our way to Africa a few years ago. I really enjoyed Amsterdam because of how friendly and helpful all the locals were to us–although in the center of Amsterdam it seemed that many of the locals were recent immigrants from developing countries. And I’ve found generally, that people in many developing countries are friendly. In many passes through Schiopol (sp?) Airport, I’ve always found the Dutch employees to be so friendly and helpful. And when I fly on KLM out of Amsterdam, I always notice the Dutch passengers seem to be really happy to be off on vacation and radiating good will. I agree with the other commenter who said maybe they’re confusing Dutch for Germans! They can be pretty crabby!
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Hello Karin,
My Dutch hubby and I talk about this all the time, especially the customer service. We agree that the culture of customer service in Holland is just not the same as in America. American waiters live on their tips. American merchants also know that, in most cases, what they’re selling can be bought somewhere else, so the only thing that separates them from the competition is superior customer service. Dutch customer service is starting to go in that direction. I don’t think the Dutch are rude, unfriendly, etc. They’re not as warm as Italians or Americans but they have other qualities!
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Wow, I’m genuinely shocked and amazed. I didn’t think people felt this way about the Dutch. Mind you, I naively thought the Brits were well thought of until we moved abroad.
We know lots of Dutch people who holiday in Turkey and we sit with them all the time. Only a personal opinion but we always have a fab time and we always comment about how great the Dutch are. Well, any country that has great darts players is good in our book!! 
We’re definitely members of the Dutch fan club.
Julia
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I must admit that at times I will not acknowledge that I am Dutch if I see how they behave in other countries. Fortunately I have quite a strong British accent!
They also say the same thing of French police, but I have not had any problem at all. Perhaps because I speak French?
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Hmmm. I live here in NL and travel frequently around Europe. My experience is that Dutch people abroad are perceived as bad as Brits (my apologies if I offend anyone) in that they are bossy, rude, vociferous, demanding, cheap, and overall rude and annoying. As for here in NL is concerned, it’s how small personal space around oneself is as well as a lack of etiquette/manners that strikes me the most.
Um,I’m Italian and the vast majority of people here don’t think of neither if the Dutch nor the Brits. We find them polite and reserved and fun loving. Perhaps on the party islands like Ibiza is where you get the rude ones? Oersonay the country I find the most dislike for across Europe is France. I do find them abrasive and snooty.
I have witnessed their behavior first hand everywhere in Europe: Belgium, France, Spain, Portugal, and Italy, to name a few. And of course not in “party places” but main stream tourist attractions/places. Just ask hotel or restaurant owners/bartenders etc. Of course they are not the vast majority of people in any given country. It’s the people who provide services to tourists that suffer the most.
My boyfriend and I both have grown up in the United states and he studied in france last year and I had the fortune of going to visit him a few times. We visited Bruges, Belguim and he told me it was mostly Dutch. I felt that everyone there was absolutely pleasent, as well as everywhere else I have visited in Europe. I had heard before I went that people were rude in such and such place, but I think that comes with an attitude that you bring with and not learning about cultures before you go. My boyfriend knew everything since he was born there and went frequently, and he tried to teach me as much as he could so we were respectful to everyone. Everyone would hope visitors would be the same in their home town but many people do not take the time to do so. It is a sad thing.
Thank you for your thoughtful reply. Yes, you are very right: In most cases you get what you give in terms of attitude and behavior. I have noticed that the world over. Keep traveling!
I told you I’d report back after my trip to The Netherlands, so here I am. I was a bit worried that maybe things had changed drastically since I was there last, but as usual, the Dutch were wonderful — kind, helpful, and polite. A full account (plus photos and video) is on my blog. NL rocks!
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Maria, I loved your post, of course
I’m glad your experiences with the Dutch were positive and I’m thinking, like you, that foreigners simply misinterpret Dutch behavior. And as is the case most anywhere, you usually receive what you give/express yourself in terms of behavior.
Have never been to the Netherlands (although my father’s family came from there–I’m actually 1/2 Dutch!) but I also have never heard that they were rude. I’ve heard quite the opposite, in fact. Glad to hear that your experiences proved me right
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i suspect they mixed up the dutch and the danes.
this is an easy mistake, as both languages sound like a throat disease when spoken. 
but also because i was once asked by an enterprise rental car customer service woman (in the US) whether i would be leaving the netherlands with the car i had just arranged to pick up in copenhagen.
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Yeah, those Danes, those Dutch. I was once asked (for official reasons) that since I was Dutch, if I claimed Danish citizenship. I expect it is easy for Americans to get all those little countries “up there” confused. It took me a while before I had all the states in the US more or less in the right place on my mental map. Not sure I know all the capitals . . .
this is very interesting and so are the comments. I think all commenters are right. It is a complicated matter. It’s not the best thing to judge another culture of communication negatively right away. As Carolyn commented, the rudeness factor is often compared to the service in America and if you do that, then it feels that everyone is rude. I lived in Brussels, Belgium for a while and I was comparing everything to America and soon I realized that was the wrong thing to do if I want any good relations. Being an anthropologist at heart, I knew that every culture has its own communication etiquette. A clash of two different cultures may seem explosive when people are traveling both for the traveler and for the ‘locals’. While the world is getting smaller and smaller for people, we should not judge unless someone is literally assaulting you.
Thank goodness for wine and vodka and other sedatives!
~T~
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i have been living in NL for a few years now, and i can say that the dutch are very friendly people in general, but being friends with them is nearly impossible(which is very different than just being friendly!) because they just don’t care about foreigners, even if you speak dutch you still be a foreigner.
I love the Dutch folk! Been loads in Holland (South), and can confidently say, the people there are polite and nice. Perfect Customer service, compared to the sour faced service by the Sour faced Belgians (they can learn loads from the Dutch on excellent customer service). Most Dutch are rather brash and straightforward(lacking the sharp, witty Asian sense of humour) and they won’t start chatting wt you if they don’t know you at a bar/cafe (like the Asians would), but they are still good, nice people. Heard, the Dutch in the North are kinda snobish and a little strange, but don’t know them personally, so can’t comment. Think I’ll stick wt the Southeners! Viva Den Bosch, Uden, Boukel!!
Sharm,thanks for your response. Although, let me tell you I am a “Northerner” from Friesland, and I think you ought to go up there and check us out
. I think you’ve been brainwashed by those Southerners! Glad you’re enjoying my country and its people!
I lived in Holland for about 12 years. My dutch husband and I came to the USA in 2009. I’m sorry but yes, the service in resturaunts and cafes in Holland is absolutely horrible. How can you NOT notice your server never asking if the meal is to your liking, if they can get you anything. Or how about when you’d like another glass of wine and the server avoids your eye…. The Dutch are not rude per say … but you willingly accept a horrible level of service.
I found this also in shops there, supermarkets the post office.
I miss my bike, I miss the beauty of the city of Amsterdam, I miss the flowers, European art and love of culture. But I don’t miss the service. I don’t miss what passed for service in Holland at all.
The people aren’t rude but they aren’t exactly warm either. I made friends from all over the globe there… oddly other than my husband …they aren’t dutch. He sees it… first night he was a visitor here he was just amazed at the service during dinner.
Well, I am an expat in the Netherlands. I think ppl are mixing 2 things together. What generated this argument is about the survey that ranked the Netherlands as least unfriendly to expats. Now that does not directly imply that the Dutch are rude ppl. But if the Dutch are not rude, it doesn’t mean that the survey is not true. For me I am very convinced that the Dutch are not rude on a general note but the form of the society is unfriendly to expats (that is the argument). The Dutch has to loosen up a little bit, they have to understand that they may see foreigners in some high offices if the case demands. I am an I.T professional and I can see how many Dutch people that are meeting me for the 1st time in the office where I work are surprised and uncomfortable when they see me there. My job is very technical and I know that they have no choice bcos they can’t do it. I work there as an external consultant from a firm that is owned by a foreigner like me. I wouldn’t have gotten the job if the company was Dutch owned. I know this because I have a colleague who is also in I.T and have not been able to find a job despite the need for I.T professionals from all levels in the Netherlands and his skills. They are always telling him that his Dutch is not good enough. This guy has a diploma of NT2 PROGRAMMA II the highest level of Dutch an expat can attain in this country. If they wont employ my friend because his dutch is not good enough, why am I doing the same job, in a dutch energy company without even any knowledge of Dutch, well I got the job from a non dutch company. The fact is that the Dutch people are very paranoid of foreigners. They are not bothered when they meet u on the street or when u do some low level job, but as soon as they see u at some higher level of profession, then they begin to feel like hu! “this is strange”
This Dutch attitude would back fire in a matter of decades, because the only group of foreigners that are exiting the Netherlands the most are expats. While the group of ppl trhat are staying are mostly asylum seekers that can’t add any significant value to their economy. The Dutch population is declining due to low fertility rate of approx 1.3, which is impossible to reverse and that implies that the Dutch population would continue to diminish. What smart countries are doing is to replenish their population through immigration but not just “any-how-immigration” but economic immigration (skilled immigration). That is the model Canada has approached. But unfortunately, the Dutch don’t have this foresight, they still want to keep their Dutchiness to themselves and shot foreigners out but in reality, this is not sustainable. It might be disastrously late for the country by the time they would realize it.
In conclusion, I don’t have problem with Dutch ppl on individual note and a lot of expats shouldn’t also have problem with them bcos they are not so rude and impolite, I think those who say they are rude are probably just angry and frustrated with the system and just want to voice their frustration in a way. EXPATS don’t see the Dutch system as one where they can chase their dream and grow their career. Many public telephone services don’t speak dutch. I always have to ask my friend to call on my behalf cos he speaks dutch. Is that not crazy? are they not aware that there are foreigners living in this country? It goes on and on.
Yep – witnessed and experienced myself that attitude (in the workplace) myself. However, I disagree with your comment about “the frustration with the system”. Compared to other countries the Dutch need a good dose of social etiquette and better taste for clothing.
While not Dutch, My wife is Belgian from the north that speaks Dutch, so they share some traits w/the Dutch… She and her family are also very direct with their words.
An American may say, “that’s an interesting idea, I understand where you are coming from, but have you considered how it could cause a problem?” but she would say, “your idea is stupid,” coldly and bluntly! We argue over my being offended by her words (or others being offended by her words) and she will say Americans use too many words and don’t say what they really want to say. Ouch. True to some extent, but also not a very civil approach.
I hate to be so blunt as to sound Dutch… but please tell your wife with all due respect that calling the ideas of others “stupid” is rude all over the globe. It’s very good way to find yourself marginalized. I suspect she’d very much dislike being fed a cookie of her own dough!
I’ve lived in several countries through profession and education but Netherlands would be one of the worst. People are unfriendly and rude. I saw it after living there about 7years. I felt so unwelcomed and had to leave. I returned to the Hague after almost 10years and I was surprised to see that nothing has changed. I took a tram to Scheveningen where my hotel was and the driver won’t accept my 50eur note and had to get down. I waited for the next tram and again a very unfriendly driver ask me to go to the bank to change to smaller notes. The following day another tram driver reluctantly gave me a ticket because he wasn’t happy with my small coins adding up to 3euro. Directness is not the absence of being nice. You can take a taxi in Dublin and a driver would engage in a nice chat until you get to where you going. Not in Netherlands. People are just cold. It is a shame.
Kaab, I am appalled at reading your experiences! I wonder why there is such a diversity of opinion.
miss footloose … when I was a tourist the service still stunk but people were very, very, friendly…. of course … tourists have pockets full of money… if they are American they tip nicely … the people you primarily deal with as a tourist LIVE FROM TOURISTS.
Two weeks vacation does not an expat make. You have tourists mixing with those who lived as expats, here. My expat experience was nothing like my treatment as a tourist. ❤🌹
You are right: Being an expat is a whole different experience than being a tourist!
I like the Dutch! Well I’ve been to Amsterdam and while at Schiphol Airport I’ve had people saying good morning to me even when I was not looking at them.
I’m glad you found the Dutch friendly!
I am Greek and I have studied the Dutch language and currently I live in Belgium. I am fed up with the rude, blunt and uncivilised people who always call the service, they don’t know what the service is for and they are rude if they don’t hear that you are a native speaker. I am tired with the Dutch people at restaurants and shops in Holland asking “how do you come for holidays here? Do you have the money to afford it? Aren’t you supposed to bleed and have crisis? Direct does not mean rude and uncivilised. The Flemish people are much more friendly and calm. Are they pretending? Maybe yes, but who cares. Better that than the overwhelming rudeness of their northern neighbors. And simply…if you are not happy with the EU, get out of it. The first who will celebrate will be me!
Ouch! And ouch, again. Certainly the Dutch people you came across were not my friends and family!
Apparently you are the exception
Hey I’m Dutch so I try to make it clear for u all we aren’t very nice when Dutch people talk to Dutch people. And in stores and stuff work people who are lazy and rude we hate this too. If you go to Amsterdam there are not a lot Dutch people but a lot from other country’s, and I live in a village where everybudy know each other everybudy says goodmorning and yesterday I lost my phone a guy I haven’t spoken to in a year brought it back
. Everybudy I know is for the EU here and I try to stay nice and friendly and Not pretend to. And ofcourse everybudy here is nice to tourist with money problems with that?
I haven’t really been to Holland, but I have lived with and interacted with many Dutch people where I live.
I also feel they can be quite rude, but I can see how a Dutch person wouldn’t notice it.
It’s not about waiters not wishing you a nice day or people not saying thank you. It’s about this way the Dutch have of being very opinionated in a rather agressive manner. It’s fine to have opinions on stuff, I do too, but there are ways and ways of expressing them. Many Dutch people I have met have this way of expressing it in a blunt, almost angry-sounding fashion when they disagree with you.
In general they tend to be very direct and to tell you exactly what they think, even when maybe it’s not the right situation to do so. Of course directness doesn’t have to mean rudeness, but there is a point where one thing becomes the other, and some Dutch people don’t seem to know where the line lies.
Then again, I have met some Dutch people who absolutely don’t fit in with this generalization, so it does depend on the person, however I think Dutch culture in general does rather encourage this kind of behaviour.
Thank you for your thoughtful reply. Since we Dutch use this directness among ourselves, many of us are not aware how it is perceived by foreigners. And yes, there is a line between directness and rudeness, and it is certainly recognized in Holland. However, where that line is may be judged to be in different places by different people. Sigh. I’m tempted to say, “just be nice”, but then we have to figure out what “nice” means
. Many Dutch find Americans “fake” because they are so “nice.” Oh, well….
The reason why they might perceive “niceness ” as being fake is because their own personalities are so unpleasant: hard , unfriendly having no empathy for anyone else’s problems . It is therefore beyond their understanding that there are other people in the world who are not cynical and self-centred. I am not a North American but if I had to choose between affable , easy-going, or truculent , self obsessed and bitchy, I know which I would rather have . Sometimes people’s lives cross for only a few minutes so why not make those few minutes pleasant? Constantly bleating on about sincerity , fake , phony is just an excuse for covering up their own lack of ” niceness”
I have lived in Holland most of my life but I’m still amazed at how rude the Dutch people are. Directness could be considered a virtue but the Dutch give their negative opinions without being asked ( gratuitously). Furthermore , the people are passively aggressive, walking , cycling driving towards you at high speed causing you to jump or veer to the side . They cycle walk drive directly across your path when they could easily go behind . When they see that you startled they have an ironic smile on their face. This is not a friendly trait!
There are endless discussions in shops and it always ends up with the same conclusion that you ( the customer ) are at fault . The idea that the customer is king is a joke in the Netherlands . Everything here is your own fault even if you are the victim of crime .” You should have had a larger chain on your bike ” or even ” you shouldn’t have bought a brand new car ,that’s asking for problems ” The Dutch are not supportive!
They complain constantly about other nationalities and have opinions based on encounters during their own boozy vacations in the Med.
If I were to tell my work colleagues what I think about their country they would not like it but I don’t because I was raised to be polite and do not give my gratuitous opinions with could be hurtful and serve no purpose. However , having lived here for more than 30 years I am entitled to an opinion .
You sound very unhappy! And you’ve lived with this for thirty years?
missfootloose recently posted..Living Abroad: Reptiles You May Meet
Hi Karin, Of course I have a life here which I am perfectly satisfied with and do not think about the aforementioned things all the time, certainly not! However, hardly a day goes by here without something unpleasant happening: Thefts , Aggression ,Destruction of property . Crazy drivers trying to knock you down even on the sidewalk. I would have loved to return to Dubai where I was working in the 80′s but serious health issues prevented me from doing so. I also have most of my friends here.
When I saw your blog I couldn’t contain myself and had to speak my mind which you invited the public to do. As a Dutchwoman yourself, I’m sure you can appreciate my brutal candour . I mean it is the honest opinion of expats that you are after, isn’t it? And that is what you have got As you have noticed ,I do not beat about the bush . By the way , I am for the outside world fully integrated into this society even though it sometimes makes my head spin. I’ve lived in both Amsterdam and the Hague . I currently reside in Amsterdam.
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