HAVE MICROWAVE, WILL MARRY EXPAT

by missfootloose on June 13, 2009 · 8 comments

in expat, Expat foodie, Expat life, Palestine

Many people enjoy living the expat life in the Middle East, but Ramallah, Palestine, is not generally known to be an expat haven. However, an American foreign aid project brought us there and we enjoyed living in Ramallah for a couple of years, loved the people, the food and the ambiance of this exotic little town with its narrow winding streets lined with small shops selling Middle Eastern sweets, jewelry, household goods, meat, and so on. Like everywhere else, young singles here look for romance, love, and happiness ever after. Here’s a story about looking for love, with a little local color.

Photo of downtown Ramallah by tgraham

LOOKING FOR LOVE

I’m having lunch with a few friends in a small boutique café in Ramallah, eating Greek salads piled high with feta cheese and lots of olives. Although we love shwarmas, falafel, hummus and all the other wonderful local fare, once in a while we treat ourselves to a lunch at this trendy little eatery.

My friend Marianne is a Danish redhead with big blue eyes and a delicate problem: Her Palestinian colleague Amira is putting on the pressure for Marianne to consider marrying her handsome brother, Marwan. Marwan is looking for a wife, which is not that easy in Ramallah, as it is not so easy anywhere in the world. His sister is doing her best to aid in his quest.

“Amira has been singing Marwan’s praises for days,” Marianne tells us. “‘He has a good job, Marianne! He makes lots of money, and he wears nice clothes and speaks English very well!’” Marianne laughs as she recites Amira’s words. “‘He is so wonderful, Marianne! Please, think about marrying him!’”

Marianne sips her wine and forks in a bite of her Greek salad before continuing her story, which goes like this:

She tells Amira that, having met the marvelous Marwan only once in passing, she’s not convinced she knows him well enough to start considering marriage, and besides she doesn’t want to get married yet. The wrong thing to say. How can she not want to get married? Doesn’t she want a husband? Children? A home of her very own? And so on and so forth.

Yes, says Marianne, but not just yet.

But Marwan is so wonderful! Amira cries out, and again catalogues her brother’s good qualities, his education, his handsome face, his generosity. Really she should think about it. She should get to know him, meet with him.

Marianne says no thank you. She wants to travel more before she settles down on a cold Danish island without hummus. She doesn’t want to get romantically involved just yet. She’s too busy with her job with the water-project here, too busy discovering the world.

“Amira was so upset,” Marianne says, coming to the end of her tale. “She just couldn’t imagine why I wasn’t interested in her wonderful brother. She looked at me in total frustration and said, ‘But Marianne! He even has a microwave!’”

*

Later that week my spouse and I are invited to dinner at the house of Samir, a new Palestinian friend who spent his university days in Georgia, USA, getting an engineering degree. He is single. Living the bachelor’s life in Ramallah is a bore, he tells us as he uncorks a bottle of wine. He’s ready to be married and he’s looking for a wife, but it’s not easy here. His mother is looking for a suitable girl. His sister is looking. He rolls his eyes. Then he sighs forlornly.

He has a nice apartment in a new building. The furniture is of the dark and well-stuffed formal variety, but a full complement of silvery gleaming electronic equipment–TV, CD player, VCR — brightens the decor.

There are five of us, the other guests mutual English friends. We are offered wine and nibbles, the usual pre-dinner munchies of nuts and seeds and olives. We talk about this and that — Russian cars, scorpions, travel, and airports. I’m off to Holland next week to visit my family. I ask Samir if there’s something I can bring back for him. Chocolate? Cheese? Pickled herring?

“Bring me a wife,” he says. “Any size, any color.”

While we talk, Samir runs in and out of the kitchen where he’s fixing us musakhan, a traditional Middle Eastern oven-roasted chicken dish. He’s doing the cooking himself and I tell him I am very impressed. He laughs. He has a very nice laugh. Also he’s handsome and has great hair. He’s a catch, as my daughters would say. My daughters, however, are far away, and taken.

The musakhan is delicious, served in a flat dish lined with layers of lavash, a very thin bread that’s baked in large sheets. On top of the bread is a thick layer of onions fried in lots of olive oil and on top of that lounge chicken pieces seasoned with plenty of red lemony sumac. The right way to eat the dish is with your fingers. You tear off a piece of bread and use it to scoop up a piece of chicken. Nice and messy for those of us not used to eating this way, but much fun.

So here we are, thoroughly enjoying the food and the company and Samir’s funny tales, one of which involves his sitting in a park in Georgia, USA, on a hot summer day enjoying the quiet and smoking his narghila.

Police car stops. Cop gets out. Gun on hip. Saunters over. “Whatcher doin’ there, boy?”

“Smoking my water pipe, officer.”

“And what might that be that you’re smoking in there, son?”

“Peach tobacco, sir.” Samir shows him the package. Pretty picture of peaches, lots of Arabic squiggles, sticky narghila tobacco inside.

Cop looks at it. Sniffs it. Hands it back. “Well, have a nice day, son.”

“Thank you, officer.”

In Georgia, they know their peaches.

Photo by ickna

After an entertaining evening, we leave Samir alone in his nice apartment and drive home through the narrow winding streets of Ramallah. I squeeze my man’s right hand, glad I’ve got my mate, glad that I’m not in the market looking for one. The air is redolent with roasting nuts, narguila tobacco, shwarma cooking. Music everywhere — American love songs, Arabic love songs. People are out in the streets enjoying the summer air, eating ice cream, laughing. Young couples in jeans, groups of boys, groups of girls. Hormones quiv
ering everywhere.

“Surely Samir can find himself a wife,” I say. “He’s handsome as a god, he’s nice, has a good job, a car, a great smile. He can even cook!”

My man nods thoughtfully. “Yes, but does he have a microwave?”

***
NOTES: In some countries you’d better have a couple of goats or other livestock if you want to get yourself a bride. Or soap or gold or cases of Johnnie Walker. Do you have any fun stories about the trials and tribulations of finding a mate and what is needed to marry in places where you have lived as an expat?  Hit that comment button and entertain me!

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{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }

Typ0 June 13, 2009 at 8:25 pm

Ahh the joys of getting to know the locals. LOL In Delhi we often listened to friends bemoan the number of setup teas their parents dragged them to.

I never heard the microwave line before though….

Reply

intlxpatr June 14, 2009 at 10:00 am

I love this entry. Marriage customs are so different, and I can’t begin to imagine how hard it is to find a good mate when you can’t date, can’t take the time to get to know someone well.

We have an Egyptian friend who tells us that because he is working in the Gulf, people in Egypt consider him a good catch, but they expect him to buy his intended a house, furnish it, and give her money – a lot of money – to prepare for the wedding. They don’t realize how little he is making, and how many people depend on his income.

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LadyFi June 16, 2009 at 12:20 pm

Classic lines: In Georgia, they know their peaches… and Does he have a microwave.

Loved this post!

Reply

Kay June 16, 2009 at 9:03 pm

What a great story!

When I was on my own for the first time I didn’t have much.. but you can bet I had myself a microwave…

🙂

Reply

bettyl June 17, 2009 at 12:43 am

I lived in Georgia for many years, and I certainly can’t see the cops passing on that one!!

Funny story!

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Miss Footloose June 17, 2009 at 2:01 pm

About having a microwave, I’m sure it had nothing to do it being required for finding a bride in Palestine — it was just mentioned by the sister as one more plus point for her brother as husband material.

Intlxptr, so many “guest workers” have the same problem. I was on a plane once with a Ghanaian woman going home for a visit from Paris, where she worked. She said she spent all her savings on gifts for her extended family because that was/is expected. It is often a big burden because these workers become the support of many of their family members at home, not just their immediate family.

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nodamnblog November 30, 2009 at 2:18 pm

I so much enjoyed your two entries about Palestine. Sadly all we ever see on the television is about the conflicts there and the misery in which the people seem to live, and so to read that they do also enjoy normal lives – apart from the lack of tension rods – cheered me up.

Reply

Miss Footloose December 2, 2009 at 2:46 am

@ nodamnblog, thank you for your comment! You are so right about the skewed view we get from tv and the papers about places like Palestine and Africa. I love to show in my stories that not all is war and starvation and disease and people do have ordinary, happy lives in these places! And Africa is not a country . . . 😉

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